As of today, I’ve been married to the man God chose for me for one month. I want to write about this experience because, Lord willing, in 25 years I will still be married to this man but I will be learning completely different things and loving him even more.
Marriage has brought so many changes to my life. I was warned that this would happen and I believed everyone who told me, but you can’t be ready for being married until you are married. Nathan and I are pretty brainy people so we talked about a lot of things and thought we were pretty prepared. Exactly a month ago, however, I was painting my nails and doing devotions before everyone else came over to get ready for the big day. I was pondering life and came to the conclusion that I don’t think anyone is ever ready for marriage until it happens. And I think it has to be that way.
This is because marriage MUST change you. You have to make changes FOR the other person and you have to be changed BY that person.
Trust me, if there are differences that didn’t come up while you’re dating, they will come up when you’re married. And you have to work through them and change together! For us it’s been the little things like how to wash the dishes, how much seasoning to use, when to make the bed, how to hang the picture frames, who brings out the trash, etc. When Nathan puts salt and pepper on foods I would rather have plain (or have already seasoned for him), doesn’t make the bed all week, doesn’t set my place setting with a knife, I have thought to myself, “I can’t wait to visit my parents where everything is done the right way…”
And then I realize how much he’s already changed me, and I’m grateful for our differences. I’ve never before had to consciously choose to love someone so much. And this is not because my husband makes it so hard for me to love him, it’s because the love I have for him is different than the love I’ve had for other people. I love my family dearly, but I didn’t choose them. My love for them was a given, from the day I was born. I love my college roommates dearly as well, but although we shared a lot we didn’t share the intimacies I now share with my husband.
My dear husband, after only a month, is changing me. He is teaching me to love, and to love big. Not only because I have chosen him and must continue to choose to love him every day, but because he also chose me and is choosing to love me. Nathan is one of the most selfless people I know. I can’t imagine how many times in a day he has chosen to bite his tongue and let an argument slip by. He also never hesitates to help those around us who need our help. Nathan is teaching me what hard work really looks like. He works all day at work, comes home to help me with dinner and then still has energy to take care of his body by exercising and take care of things around the house. Nathan is also teaching me to love the Lord more very day. He encourages me every day to stay in the Word and to pray, always. I am so blessed to be married to a man who loves the Lord so much!
All that to say, I have been married one month today and I already love my husband more than I did a month ago. I will cherish today and I can’t wait to see where we are in a year, five years, 25 years and 50 years, Lord willing. We’ve already had some struggles, but nothing like I’m sure we’re going to encounter. I am so thankful for the ways I have already been stretched and changed. I couldn’t have asked for a better partner to have by my side, til death do us part.